#SoCS: Back of the Fridge Emotions

In the back of my fridge, lurking in the shadows (because the light doesn’t always work, and we don’t really know why), are emotions I’d like not to feel.

Frustration, overflowing an open soda can
Resentment, moldering away in a the far corner
A bit of anger, dried out and bitter

Why these feelings in regards to a major kitchen appliance?

Let me tell you a story…

It’s late spring, 2017. My husband Jim is in the kitchen when I come to get a cup of coffee. I’m in a bit of a hurry, since I have a standing Twitter writing sprint I attend on weekdays.

I’m reaching for my creamer when he says, “Oh, by the way, I bought a fridge online last night. It cost $1000, and it will be here Thursday.”

“Without even asking me?” We had an agreement about as old as our marriage that we had to talk over any purchase over $100 and wait 24 hours before purchasing.

“You were at your writing group.”

That was true – but it’s just as true that he could have called or messaged me there and didn’t. Is aid as much (probably not as calmly).

“It was on sale, and it was in the budget we talked about.”

Both also true. But when he shows me the fridge he’d bought, I get more aggravated.

It isn’t at all what I’d said I want – a fridge with two doors up top and a sliding freezer drawer beneath. Instead it’s a side-by-side fridge with a very skinny freezer. I can already tell it’s impractical for our needs.

And when it arrives, there’s another issue. The thing is a behemoth. Only our 6’3” son can see onto the top of it.

Fast forward to that fall. I’m still hating the fridge, still resenting that Jim bought it without consulting me at all, and doesn’t see it’s a problem that he did so. He mostly ignores that I am not happy with his purchase, because he likes it.

And then he’s diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer. Amid everything else, the fridge is an irritant. And as much as I tolerated it when it was what Jim wanted – now he’s going to die and leave me stuck with this monstrosity I loathe.

He did, on January 12, 2018. And the fridge?

Still here.

Making the most of it… .I guess.


I don’t hate it now (that takes too much energy from things that need my energy more). But I will never love it. It doesn’t suit our needs, and when the kids leave, it will be far too much for just me (I don’t eat that much; so I don’t need a huge beast of a fridge).

It’s in my way. It reminds me of all the times my late husband ignored what I wanted in favor of what he wanted. We had a good marriage and loved each other. We laughed a lot, were faithful, had adventures and children together.

And there was an underlying lack of respect on his part that the fridge is the biggest remaining symbol of. It’s the echoes of this that await me in the back of the fridge.

THIS POST IS MY ENTRY TO LINDA G. HILL’S STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS SATURDAY. CLICK THE LINK TO LEARN MORE AND SEE THE RULES.

CHECK OUT THIS WEEK’S HOP! THE PROMPT WAS “Back of the Fridge” – USED ANY WAY WE WISH.



2 comments

  1. It’s the imperfections of our men that make them perfect!

    ~~~~~
    Be the kind of person that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, the devil says,
    “Oh, CRAP! They’re up!”

    And, remember to have a great day!
    Brenda Rech

    Curious as to what this trio is looking at??
    [cid:image001.jpg@01D8DCEA.645BB7A0]
    Follow the link:
    https://dogged-trailblazer-3243.ck.page/40b88a63ab

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