J is for Juxtaposition of Joy and Sorrow: #atozchallenge Day 10


Departed With Honor

I feel his loss with every breath

I know my love has departed

Departed from this earthly plane

Departed from our home

Home could now be a somber place

Home could be wreathed in endless sorrow

Sorrow deep and rooted in this grave loss

Sorrow an oppressive ominous thundercloud

Thundercloud bringing rains of tears

Thundercloud lifts and thins out and away

Away and apart letting the sun shine in

Away goes the gloom in comes magic

Magic of light reflected through raindrops

Magic and promise of the rainbow

Rainbow paints the sky in wonder

Rainbow born of the deepest loss

Loss of my mate and my kids’ dad

Loss of the life that went before

Before we can grow we must absorb

Before we grow we must evolve

Evolve into a new way of life

Evolve into something that has space

Space for what was precious to us

Space for new life and new joys

Joys are the treasures we seek

Joys of the living and the loving

Loving the memory of beloved lost

Loving possibilities held in each breath

Breath and heartbeat hold new potential

Breath of fresh air with the coming of spring

Spring brings the softening of frozen places

Spring brings the time of rampant rebirth

Rebirth into a life that grows and changes

Rebirth as a new kind of family

Family is a matter of heart

Family is a matter of soul

Soul hungers for laughter and singing

Soul yearns to remember old laughter

Laughter is worthy of protection

Laughter is ever the best medicine

Medicine perfect for healing deep grief

Medicine that blends the then and the now

Now we cultivate laughter in ourselves and each other

Now we seek out moments of happiness

Happiness is what he wanted for us

Happpiness is a way to do him honor

Honor the loss of a singular love

Honor the future as we move beyond




I’m running a bit later than I wanted to be, today – because I took time for joy. I met my dearest, oldest friend at a local library where her son was taking a class, and we did some catching up – she and her family will be moving out of state in the coming months, and so time together is more precious these days. We also did some writing, then went to Toys R Us so her son could spend gift cards before the store goes out of business.

I bought some Littlest Pet Shop things for Lise, because the income tax refund left us some extra breathing room, and then, when I went shopping, I supplemented the modest list we’d created with some favorites – a bit of a celebration of spring’s potential, and a surprise the kids weren’t expecting. Before heading home, I stopped at Panera because they have French onion soup I always enjoy, and my favorite salad is back for the summer.

Giving ourselves joy isn’t always about spending money. Sometimes it’s just hanging out together, or watching a rainbow, or hugging.

There’s so much sorrow we can’t avoid – but we look for moments of delight wherever we can find them.

When Jim was alive, we laughed a lot – and we want to keep on laughing. More, that’s what Jim wanted, too.

And so we grieve, and we laugh – and sometimes, we do both at the same time.

Join us again tomorrow for Kids and Kitchen – as a chef’s widow learns new ways to feed her offspring.

Jog on over for more juicy J posts!

One comment

  1. Agony and ecstasy are such conjoined twins. Neither can exist without the other, since they’re so entwined. I’ve taken this observation of life deeply to heart since seeing it in Hermann Hesse’s awesome novel Narcissus and Goldmund.

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