E is for Emotional Terrain: #atozchallenge Day 5

Explore Across Terrain

There is an emotional terrain

There are new landscapes to explore

Explore the deep valleys the rushing cataract

Explore the broken-topped mountain range

Range of feelings that grieving contains

Range of feelings nothing can hold within

Within each of us new worlds were born

Within the reality of this single death

Death of the familiar vistas we once knew

Death of the mindless passages over and through

Through places we almost didn’t notice anymore

Through what we assumed would stay the same

Same route to the store as we traveled back then

Same roads and sights but we have been changed

Changed so the known is now something unknown

Changed the familiar to a strange new frontier

Frontier of learning to go with a new flow

Frontier of feeling just what we feel

Feel the cold wind we must face now alone

Feel the new breeze of a saddened spring

Spring brings the feelings bursting like leaves

Spring is the time of greening rebirth

Rebirth of my life as a single not a pair

Rebirth of hope as the flowers bloom

Bloom as our children resuming their lives

Bloom into something rooted in love

Love we shared now sustains us all

Love is fertile soil watered by our tears

Tears of loss that fall like spring rain

Tears warm with memory cold with loss

Loss of an anchor that held us snug

Loss of a companion at my side

Side of a mountain covered in scree

Side of a hill softened with new life

Life goes on even after his death

Life blossoms and bursts and swells

Swells with the joys and thee sorrows

Swells with warmth and shadows

Shadows give dimension to sunshine

Shadows remind us of the light

Light reflects on deep still cool waters

Light touches my darkest pockets of grief

Grief changes my landscapes makes them new

Grief the shadow testament of sweeter days

Days solitary but not truly alone

Days remaining with new terrain

Terrain waiting to be explored

Terrain and landscapes of shifting emotion

Emotion

Explored

 

I’m still running a day late, but I’m getting to this a couple of hours earlier than I did yesterday, so I’m counting that as progress.  It’s been a quieter day – I’ll be heading out with my son for some groceries later on, but haven’t needed to go anywhere for most of the day.

That’s refreshing. I’m tired from the extra busy-ness of the week, and it’s nice to be able to just hang at home, with no time-sensitive plans.

The weather’s been unsettled, so maybe that’s why this poem didn’t exactly go the way I thought it might.

Or maybe it’s that it can be sometime brutal living in this new emotional terrain, and sometimes I need to step back a little, wrap myself in a warm layer of insulation against the harshest of the elements, and survey it from behind a window rather than out in the thick of it.

Join me again sometime in the next few hours, when I’ll be feeding body and soul in a time of grief.

Enter to explore more emotional E posts!

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