Preparing for New Growth; July 19, 2017

For the last twelve years, I’ve not-so-secretly dreaded July 13-25.

In 2003, the year Elijah was born and died, life was in limbo. We were afraid for our baby’s life, and didn’t yet know how significant those 12 days would become – that they would mark out an extremely abbreviated lifetime.

In 2004, Lise was 5 days old when those days started. Needless to say, I had other things on my mind and in my heart than the calendar.

Since then, though…

It’s been hard, every year.

Until this one.

It’s not that I don’t miss my baby who never had the chance to grow up. I’m aware of this 12 days, and I know what they mean in my life…

But I’m alive. WE’RE alive, as a family…and we’re an especially busy family, right now:

  • It’s homeschool reporting time. I’ve got Lise’s test scores to send to the district, and IHIPs to draft and finalize this month.

  • In addition to the weekly local farmer’s market where we have a table this summer, this weekend Jim and I will be working a charity food event for his employer, and we’ve secured permission from him to also offer his sauces, which will open another new market for us.

  • I’ve got a short story to revise and submit by month’s end, and, as always, writing and fitness goals, and a home to tend.

It turns out that when life is full of things that nourish myself and those I love, there’s less space available for dwelling on the tragedies that are part of life.

I’m just too focused on these various leaps of faith to sink into the deep well of anguish and “what-ifs” for which there never have been answers…my focus is more on the here-and-now of life.

Is this what acceptance feels like…knowing that some things can’t be, that they will affect me more powerfully at some times than others – and still going on with the daily stuff of living, simply because I and the rest of my beloveds are alive?

What do you think?



  • CampNoWriMo: Write 66,666 words (average 2,151/day) of Still Nameless (Kifo Island #8). 38,798/66,666 words; a bit less than 1K from Tuesday’s goal. Primary goal; On target plus a bit.

Naomi’s regard was intense, and a little threatening; Ophelia went back to staring at the pizza, her stomach twisting as though Pandora’s creatures were whizzing around in there, banging against the sides and stirring up the acid.

  • Blogposts: Write new material at least 2 hours/week. Continue on with series in progress/JuNoWriMo words. 15 min/2 hours. Secondary goal; progress.


  • Blogposts: Revise JuNoWriMo blogposts one hour each week. Secondary goal back-burnered till August.

Social Media:

  • Other Platforms: Post twice weekly to my Facebook Writer page; and once weekly to Instagram, and Pinterest.  Complete Patreon profile and launch. 1/ 2 FB page. Lots of pinning! Secondary goal; good progress.

  • Continue in Twitter #writingcrew and #AllStarTrek sprints/chats regularly. Dabble in other social media (LinkedIn, Medium, Quora, Wattpad) if/as desired. Stretch goal; good progress.


  • Complete my writing business plan using this excellent article by Angela Ackerman as a guide. Step 4/7 in progress from June. Primary goal.

  • Assist my Accomplice with his labeling/branding/platform/marketing (if this is scary for me; it’s completely alien to him). Got the PayPal Business account and new email/Google identity set up, all sauces in Facebook Business Page Shop; which is now open for business! Also set up Pinterest/Instagram accounts, and failed at setting up Twitter. Dipped toe into website/blog. Secondary goal; a dizzying amount of progress!

Tending goals:

  • Hometending: Spend 30 minutes at least 5x/week in mindful cleaning and/or yardtending; draft kids’ 2017-2018 IHIPs (Individualized Home Instruction Plans); complete testing submission and reporting; deal with subscriptions and other business that tends to get pushed aside. Hometending: 1/5. Received Lise’s test scores in mail Tuesday; will copy and send to district this week.

  • Selftending: Spend time with my beloveds, friends, and myself; get at least one hour of physical activity 5x/week, and two hours of strenuous activity weekly (including Baby Steps to 5K); meditate and journal 8x/week. Activity: 1/5; Strenuous: .5/2 hours; Meditation/journaling 3/8.

Kait Nolan’s  ROW80  

The Writing Challenge That Knows You Have a Life!

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  1. I’m glad you’re able to dive into the possibilities of the now instead of sinking into the what-ifs of the past. I know that pain and those what-ifs never really fade, but you’re carrying it and doing well.

  2. I have not experienced loss, but I do know what it feels like. I was with my best friend when her grandmother, who cared for her entire life, passed. I believe you’re taking the necessary steps to heal. You definitely have your schedule booked. Congrats on the new cooking business and thank you for the link. I also would like to establish my writing career.

    • I think this is always going to be a tricky time. Fourteen years, and I’m still hyper-aware.

      But life is for the living, and we’re alive. It’s good to be busy, I think, doing things that matter to me and my loved ones helps tremendously, though.

      The business is exciting – my husband’s dream for years now, come to reality. It’s wonderful to be able to help him stretch for it!

      I wish you the best of luck as you develop your writing career! =D

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