Building A Rebellious Teen: February 15, 2017

Hey there!

Well, it’s finally happened. I was warned, long ago, by a family member who stated authoritatively:

“All teenagers rebel, at least a little.”

She was sure our shift from authoritarian to partnership parenting would be a disaster. Our oldest was only 8 at the time, and we had a ways to go before any teens lived with us, so I didn’t argue.

It took the teen who calls me “Mom” almost 15.5 years to get around to what he calls his “cunning rebellion.” It was totally unexpected, when the moment came.

So, what happened?

Tuesday afternoon, I was chatting with him while I got some dishes soaking in the sink. Usually, I make it known that help with this ongoing cycle in our lives is appreciated, but this time there weren’t that many dishes to attend to, so I told him, “I don’t need any help with these dishes.”

I went to do something in another room, and, when I returned in a couple of minutes, the rebellion was in full swing, right there at the kitchen sink.

That’s right – my 15 year old son was washing the dishes!

When I asked if this was the teenage rebellion I’d been warned about, he confirmed, saying, “I finally got around to it.”

 I’m building rebels, one kindness at a time! =D

Other than the rampant and rather sudsy adolescent rebellion, it was a peaceful session. A foot of snow on Sunday set the mood for simmering and more targeted focus. I’m very close to wrapping up one of my major goals, and I’ve moved significantly closer on a few others.

I’m well set up for the second half of the month, which is good, because it looks to be busier than the first, with several outside activities.

Were you  ever a rebellious teen? 

  • Note: Goals engaged with during this session are detailed in this update. For complete goals lists, click the links below.


  • Kifo Island: Write 5,000 words/week The Far Shore (KIC #6), until complete. Primary goal. Scene 24/24 in progress. 5,867/5,000 words; 68,389/~65,000 total (Scrivener count). I’m ahead of projected word count for the novel, and my weekly goal, but I expect to have this finished by Sunday’s update, because waiting to write a couple thousand more words at the most seems a bit silly, and I want to be finished!

  • Fan Fiction: Draft one new chapter each for “Cowled”  and Love and Loss. Side goal. Journaled notes for Cowled; reread notes; simmered, and wrote 189 words. I suspect the chapter will be in the 2-5K range; I’ll know more as I move through it. Simmering a plan on how to draw the drabbles together for the basis of a LAL chapter.


  • Kifo Island: Sea Changes: Continue rough revision for crit group; scenes 7-10. Tertiary goal. Highlighted Scene 7; simmering for revisions.


  • Blog Hops: #Loveuary : Write a daily drabble focused on the next chapters of Love and Loss, using a prompt pool from my fans; visit other posters as I can. #atozchallenge: Sign up for the challenge and complete any loose ends and unfinished businessby the end of the month, all posts should be finished and scheduled (to both website and blog). Primary goal. #Loveuary Drabbles: 14/28 complete. I’m having so much fun with this!

  • Blogging Features: Continue biweekly Mindful Monday posts, as well as weekly #SoCS, #8sunday, WIPpet Wednesday, and Weekend Coffee share posts. Add biweekly SkyWatch Friday posts. Develop rough schedule to pre-produce April posts. Secondary goal. Mindful Monday post completed. Skywatch in progress forFriday.


  • Resets/reorganizations: study, family room, and kitchen. Complete three 27 thing flings each room, each week. Bedroom, living room, and bathroom: two 27 thing fling each room each week. 29 General Hometending rounds weekly. Secondary goal. Bedroom 2/2. General: 27/29.


  • My beloveds: One on one time with each, doing something of value to us both, each week. Primary goal. Conversation; flirting; canoodling; snuggling; video watching; punning.

  • Continue planning/ attending outings (personal and family) as desired. Secondary goal. Upcoming “busy spell”: Couples’ workout Thursday; Homeschool teen pizza party with daughter Friday; Allegiance with son on Sunday. Welcome to Night Vale Live Show with daughter in April (tickets purchased!) Kids and I in early planning for Unschoolers Rock the Campround Ten in July!

  • NNWM local group: Interact regularly, in person and online; participate actively in critique group. Tertiary goal. Virtual wordsprints and visiting the group page; working on my revision piece and posting to group.


  • Journal six mornings and three evenings each week. Meditate five mornings and two evenings weekly. Primary goal. Morning: 3/6 journal; 3/5 meditation. Evening: 1/3 journal; 1/2 meditation.

  • Get a cumulative total of at least 90 minutes moderate physical activity 6 days weekly; 99 minutes twice weekly, and 8 hours of more strenuous activities (tai chi, swimming, hiking, cardio, weights, etc.). Secondary goal. 90 minutes: 3/6; 99 minutes: 3/2; Strenuous: 3:10/ 8 hours; snowshoveling.

  • Smart Change: Reread early chapters/worksheets; create an approach plan. Side goal. Rereading Chapter Three; Question 1/3 in progress for 4/5 goals; this is the beginning of my approach plan.

Kait Nolan’s ROW80  –

The Writing Challenge That Knows You Have a Life!

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And now, back on the ROW80 blog, too!


  1. Well, you know the answer to that one. That said… being a “teen” seems to last well past the point one hits twenty for some. So, give him time. I’m sure he can get more creative

    And, as always, your progress looks very good. Are you still looking for a PT/FT job? Any particular type?

    • Well, I’m pretty sure the person in question meant the years between 13-19, and that you know who the person was. At that point, and still, this person is not the parent of a teen, so their perspective wasn’t a proven one.

      As for my boy….well, you know how tongue-in-cheek that was, because you know him, and how easy-going and still willing to twit people gently he is. Also that he’s big enough to refuse if I tried to force him.

      I stand by my philosophy that a rebellion needs something to push against, and we haven’t provided very much of that for many years.

      I am looking, but, with Jim having the new job at radically different hours, and the needing to write my own CV, which is considerable harder than writing Jim’s, I’ve lowered the priority for now. It’s less about the money than the getting out into the world on my own a bit more. I’m definitely thinking 10-20 hours at most, for now, because family rhythm is the most important thing.

      I’m actually thinking I’d like to cashier at Panera or work at Starbucks (the barista dream lives!). You know me – I’ve only ever had direct-contact service jobs, and that’s what I love – the chance to brighten someone’s day just a bit, and maybe earn a little make-life-easier money doing it.

      • Ah… yes! Now I remember hearing about the original discussion. As for pushing against… (anything), Life itself will offer enough challenges worthy of defying. Best to save energy for those, and I think that kid knows that already.

  2. I was relatively compliant as a teen, just a little Boonesfarm with the boyfriend, and a few escapades at the drive in movie. It wasn’t until I was in my early twenties that I seriously rebelled. is that still rebellion when you’re technically and adult?

  3. That’s a great way to rebel! 🙂 And you got your dishes washed out of the deal. I was never much of a rebel myself. Too worried about trying to make everyone happy and not disappointing anyone. and it’s not like my mom had a lot of rules to rebel against.
    Yay for being on the last scene of The Far Shore! That’s great! Looks like some good progress this week.
    We didn’t get the projected snow over the weekend, but started getting slammed yesterday. School is already on a two hour delay. If they end up cancelling, kids will be out of school until Monday(since tomorrow was a scheduled day off).

    • My parents had a lot of rules. I didn’t follow them all, but I don’t feel it was rebellion as much as an inability to follow all of them.

      It was a kick to see him voluntarily washing dishes. Later , he offered me a turkey sandwich. He’s getting much more thoughtful, and notices things that need to be done in a way he didn’t a year or two ago.

      He’s a very, very sweet boy. ❤

      We got a lot on Sunday and some Monday, Wednesday, and even a bit of flurries today. Did your kids end up having school? I certainly don't mind never having to worry about snow days!

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