Outside of Society: #WeWriWa #8Sunday

Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors’ Eight Sentence Sunday!

It’s the weekly hop for everyone who loves to write! We’ve got a variety of genres and talented writers just waiting for you to come sample their wordy wares. Come read one, or all!

If you’re inclined to share your own 8-10 sentence snippet, follow the link and sign up. It’s a great community to be a part of! =D

A week ago Friday night, I promised to visit some of my fellow #8sunday bloggers. I broke that promise.

I’m not sure exactly where the week went, only that it did. Maybe it was the new schedule; maybe it was the things that I focused on; or family time. But here we are, pushing up closely against midnight on Saturday, and I’m scrambling to get this posted by then, while listening to the end of Alexander Hamilton.

I plan to do better this week, but I’m not going to promise. I don’t like making promises.

In the meantime, back to “Monday Morning Coffee” has been with me since I was sixteen. A local teenaged boy with schizophrenia wandered away from his family at a large outdoor event, and, several days later, was found, deceased.

From that story came this one – the connection might not be clear to anyone but me – but it’s there.


A young commuter has given her coffee and her name to a poorly dressed man who seems reluctant to accept a gift he hasn’t paid for.

Outside of Society

Beautiful Rose,” he whispers, as I drop my hand. He sniffs the fading steam the same way I always do, then sips, his tiny almost-moan of pleasure magnified by the cup pressed to his lips.

I take advantage of his distraction and sit beside him. I can take the 6:53; maybe even the 7:01. But if I leave now, I might never see him again.

Jeremy sips, exhaling in a sigh. There’s a buffer of empty space around us. Eyes and bodies and conversations slide away, as though we’re inside a slippery bubble, alone. No one’s gears seem to need to lock with his. He exists outside of society, and, as long as I’m with him, apparently, so do I.

Will Rose make her train?
Will she instead stay here with Lost Jeremy?

Will they find a place in society?

Any guesses you’d like to share?

Monday Morning Coffee” was originally published in the 2015 edition of World Unknown Review,  edited by L.S. Engler. Since I retain all rights beyond first publication, I intend to revise the story and add it as my own self-published library.

Get more #8Sunday?


    • I think she feels like an outsider already, to some degree. But sitting with Lost Jeremy definitely enhances the effect.

    • Thank you, Nancy. There does often seem to be this invisible barrier between the desperately poor and the "rest" of society – as though there’s no chance at all that people can move between states, or even inhabit both.

    • What you said, Kim – the magical invisible place. I’ve entered it – not as often as I feel I should. Each time, though, I’ve felt and seen that bubble…the way Rose is seeing it now. Thank you for your kind words.

    • I’ve had actual moments that made me think, too. Particularly in San Francisco, but even in my own upstate New York region. It might be easier to stay on the outside of the bubble, pretending those within aren’t equally as human as we are, but that doesn’t really help anyone.Stepping inside even once changed me, and now I do it more often, and interact more normally.

    • I like to make you wonder, Ed – because that’s when I’ve got the chance to surprise you! =)
      Given your previous comments, I think I might with this one!

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