“Eres Nadie”: Sea Changes (Kifo Island Chronicles Volume 1) for WIPpet Wednesday

Welcome to WIPpet Wednesday, a weekly blog hop which encourages writers to move WIPs (works-in-progress) to publication by posting excerpts related to the date.We’re led by the capable fingers and nimble mind of Emily Witt

Hi there! I’m getting to you late today…and if you’d like to know why, the simple answer is here.

Anyway, life’s hopping. New job for my husband…serious moves toward supporting ourselves with our passions for both of us, and the kids are growing right before our eyes….now, though, at last, I’ve got another snippet to share…

We’re still with Ava Garcia  in Sea Changes,from my Kifo Island series.

Ava was a constant revelation during the writing of her story. Her struggle goes beyond the issue of whether people should be allowed to choose the manner of their death. She encapsulates my personal attitudes about how children deserve to be treated. It’s an honor to share her voice with you!

The Premise:

In advocating for a dying girl seeking emancipation from controlling parents, can an overburdened young woman and a lonely young man find a future together?


This passage has been rough-edited (trust me, you don’t want to see the muddled-beyond-hope original version! I’ll be creating a more structured revision plan once the 24 scenes pass through my local crit group (proceeding very slowly), and I’ve completed Holly Lisle’s How to Revise Your Novel  class.

Your input is gratefully accepted, and might go a long way toward making this a better novel!


Ava speaks for herself.


WIPpet Math:

  • Today is January 25, 2017

  • I used the digits of the day, subtracting the 2 from the 5, for 3 paragraphs.

Eres Nadie”

“Maybe that’s because you don’t make sense.” Ava snapped. Being too far away for his backhand made her brave, and maybe even stupid. His invasion of the peace she’d found here made her angry.

“Have you forgotten who I am, chica?”

No, Papi. Eres nadie.” Ava wondered why she was playing with fire. Bad enough to call him nobody – but to do it in Spanish? Now she opened her eyes to stare at her father’s red, spluttering face, and it made her braver. “And there’s no freak here, Dad. Just Donovan and me.”

How will Ava’s father react to her insult?

Will Ava push her luck further?

Will Donovan attempt to mediate?

What happens next?

Next week, we’ll learn a little more…

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    • I think this would make more sense to me if I’d read the crit before the comment. But I’m sure it will make more, once I do.
      I really like Ava, but she might be pushing her luck here….

  1. Oh, Ava. I’m definitely glad her father isn’t there to retaliate to her words. and I loved the "there’s no freak here"

    • I think you’ve got good instincts, Fallon…and I agree with Ava. Donovan is certainly not a freak.

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