“Sleeping?” Sea Changes (Kifo Island Chronicles Volume 1) for WIPpet Wednesday

Welcome to WIPpet Wednesday, a weekly blog hop which encourages writers to move WIPs (works-in-progress) to publication by posting excerpts related to the date.We’re led by the capable fingers and nimble mind of Emily Witt.

I’d like to say that I got to everyone last week, but I don’t think that’s true. I’ve had so much going on since then, I really can’t remember – but, as soon as I post this, I’m going to the linky to be sure that, at the least, I’ll know that I tried to get to everybody else who’s posting this week.

But first, I need to get this post finished, so how about I just get on with it?

We’re still with Ava Garcia in Sea Changes, from my Kifo Island series.

Ava was a constant revelation during the writing of her story. Her struggle goes beyond the issue of whether people should be allowed to choose the manner of their death. She encapsulates my personal attitudes about how children deserve to be treated. It’s an honor to share her voice with you!

The Premise:

In advocating for a dying girl seeking emancipation from controlling parents, can an overburdened young woman and a lonely young man find a future together?

Note:

This passage has been rough-edited (trust me, you don’t want to see the muddled-beyond-hope original version! I’ll be creating a more structured revision plan once the 24 scenes pass through my local crit group (proceeding very slowly), and I’ve completed Holly Lisle’s How to Revise Your Novel class. I debated using this novel to do my class exercises, but ultimately decided on “On Any Tuesday Night,” my Star Trek: Enterprise fan fiction Trip and T’Pol origins story – not sure it qualifies as a #meetcute, but it’s certainly dramatic!

I’m more comfortable with using fanfic as my playground and learning laboratory, and this durned story, which is the keystone of my whole body of TnT work, has been tangled up in my hard drive for at least 3 years now, so time to get on with it! Also, it’s only 82 pages, whereas this draft is over 200, so I can move through the lessons more efficiently.

Not sure you really needed to know all that for me to say this:

Your input is gratefully accepted, and might go a long way toward making this a better novel!
 

Context:

Donovan deals with Ava’s troublesome caller.

WIPpet Math:

• Today is January 18, 2017

• I used the digits of the day and added the 2 from the year, for 11 sentences.

“Sleeping?”

“Sleeping? All that talk about incapacity, to tell me that the kid’s taking a nap?!”

“I was trying to, Dad.”

“What the hell is this – this freak – doing with you, girl? Are the two of you alone?” The swearing said he was drinking, and that he wasn’t going to stop shouting until he had the chance to shout at her.

“The cancer’s in my blood, not my ears.” Maybe she was too tired to have good sense, or maybe it was just that she was too sick and too far away for him to hit.

“You didn’t answer my questions, chica.” That was supposed to be an insult; his way of saying that she wasn’t “American” enough to please him. He’d never figured out that she wasn’t insulted or ashamed of her heritage.

Will Ava’s father calm down?

Will Ava let it go?

Will Donovan attempt to mediate?

What happens next?

Next week, we’ll learn a little more…

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