She Knew The Truth: Sea Changes (Kifo Island Chronicles Volume 1) for WIPpet Wednesday

Welcome to WIPpet Wednesday, a weekly blog hop which encourages writers to move WIPs (works-in-progress) to publication by posting excerpts related to the date.We’re led by the capable fingers and nimble mind of Emily Witt

I’m working on a three week trend of getting to everyone. It helps that things have been quieter around here, with fewer people to visit. Still, since I’d been dropping the ball more often than not until recently, it feels good to make it around to all of the other posters. I’m still slow at getting to comments, though, so that’s what I’m trying to improve now. It’s not that I don’t appreciate the comments; it’s that life is life, y’know?

And now,  back to Ava Garcia in Sea Changes

Ava grew on me during the writing of her story. She was a constant revelation. Her struggle is compelling. For me, it goes beyond the issue of whether people should be allowed to choose the manner of their death. She encapsulates my personal attitudes about how children deserve to be treated. It’s an honor to share her voice with you!

The premise:

In advocating for a dying girl seeking emancipation from controlling parents, can an overburdened young woman and a lonely young man find a future together?


This passage has been rough-edited (trust me, you don’t want to see the muddled-beyond-hope original version! My plan is to begin creating a more structured revision plan once the 24 scenes pass through my local critique group (which isn’t happening very quickly, at the moment).

Your input is gratefully accepted, and might go a long way toward making this a better novel!


Ava is dreaming, and possibly drowning…or is she?

WIPpet Math:

  • Today is October 19, 2016

  • I‘ve got 11 sentences todaybecause adding the digits of the day (1+9=10) is equal to the monthand, because it makes more sense and there’s an equality there, I’ve given you an extra sentence. You’re welcome!

She Knew the Truth

“You’re not in the tub to play, Ava. Bath time is for getting clean. I can’t wait until you’re old enough to take a shower without me babysitting you the whole time so you don’t drown.”

Ava wanted to scream that she was drowning, right now, but she didn’t have enough breath left to her for that. But she wasn’t under the water anymore, was she?

How could she be drowning, if she wasn’t under the water?

“Now hurry up and finish. I’ve still got plenty to do once you’re in bed, you know.”

But Ava was drowning, and the bubbles were gone, lost in the thick jagged ocean of angry words – wait; where was the tub?

But she knew the truth. It had been a long, long time since there were any bubbles in her life.

Can Ava find some bubbles in her life?

Is she in the water, or is this part of the dream?

Will Ava find her way forward?

Next week, we’ll learn a little more.

Want more WIPpets? Click the button below, and even add your own date-related excerpt if you’re so inclined!

















  1. I would dislike it too if someone were rushing me while I’m bathing because they have another agenda. Ava has always appeared to me as a young girl with lots of inner strength. She’s fighting to be recognised.Shalom aleichem,Pat

    • I think you’ve pegged her very well. I don’t like to be rushed, either…and I’m afraid I did a little more of this than I wanted to when my own kids were very small…might be where the seeds of this idea were planted.

  2. I had to chuckle a little at the first part. I do like having kids who can take showers independently, but my younger one’s needs mean she still requires a little help. I suppose one day, she won’t, and I’ll miss the days of caring for her this way.
    I’m anxious to see where this dream or dream-like state Ava’s in takes her.

    • I remember the day Lise stopped taking toys into the tub, and the one she decided she liked showers better, and the day she started closing the bathroom door between us.
      I miss those days, and I don’t. These big kids of mine are a constant revelation, a lot like they were as toddlers – changing almost from moment to moment.
      Enjoy that shower time while it lasts – because you never know just when she’ll outgrow the need for it. =)
      Ava’s more than a little anxious, too. More info on Wednesday!

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