A Perceived Injustice: Sea Changes (Kifo Island Chronicles Volume 1) for WIPpet Wednesday

Welcome to WIPpet Wednesday, a weekly blog hop which encourages writers to move WIPs (works-in-progress) to publication by posting excerpts related to the date.We’re led by the capable fingers and nimble mind of Emily Witt. 

Okay, just a quick note – this is my fourth blogpost of the day. It’s almost 10:40 pm, and I’m still running later than I want to be on more projects than I want to think about.

On the other hand, I’m not as far behind as I was this morning, and I’ve managed it without being stressed out. Went for a nice walk and sat in the yard with my two-days-to-twelve girl. Sorted some books. Listened to some Hamilton, and watched some documentaries (Making North America: Life and 9 Months That Made You.)

But there’s still a lot to tend to, so let’s dive right into the WIPpet and rejoin Donovan Nash and Ava Garcia in Sea Changes (how’s that for a bad segue? You’re welcome.)

Donovan is one of my favorite Kifo Island characters. He had a major supporting role in both of my previously drafted Kifo stories. Now, he gets his own (well, shared with Karina and Ava, but still, he’s finally the star he was always meant to be!)

The premise:

In advocating for a dying girl seeking emancipation from controlling parents, can an overburdened young woman and a lonely young man find a future together?


This passage is NaNo rough. My plan is to begin creating a revision plan beginning in August as the 24 scenes pass through my local crit group. Until then, I’m focused on new writing.

Your input is gratefully accepted, and might go a long way toward making this a better novel!

WIPpet Math:

  • Today is July 6, 2016
  • I‘ve got 12 sentences today, for my girl, plus one for luck (and because it fits.)

Ava is tired, and plans to nap in her chair while Donovan reads her medical records.

A Perceived Injustice

She ended on a huge yawn, and her eyelids dropped low, revealing long thick dark lashes. She’s going to be a beautiful woman one day soon, he thought, and then realized that, if she was right about her condition, she never would realize the promise held in her face and bearing.

That made him want to cry, but he pushed the impulse back, to save it for when he could be alone, and weep at the perceived injustice of a life taken so soon.

It was only a perceived injustice, a sense that everyone needed to grow to adulthood. Donovan knew that, in reality, people could die at any age at all – even before they were born. Fairness had little or nothing to do with who lived and who died.

“I’ve authorized you to have access to all my records, already,” Ava said, in a voice that was a thready and fatigued almost-whisper. “I figured it would be easier to revoke it if you didn’t end up taking my case- anyway, they’re all available, and there’s a terminal in the corner, if you need it.”

She sounded lucid, but was asleep within moments. Donovan watched her for a moment, marveling at how trusting she was, how willing to put her well-being and safety into the hands of a man she’d only just met. Of course, he wouldn’t have any idea how thoroughly she or her legal representatives had had him vetted unless she told him – she might know more about his work history than he even remembered. It wouldn’t be the first time.

Will Ava be comfortable with Donovan there?

What will her records reveal?

Will her nap be restorative?

Some of these questions may be answered – and others will certainly be posed- next week, so be sure to come back then to learn more of Donovan’s story.

To read Donovan’s scene in its entirety, just follow the links:

If you’re enjoying my Kifo Island posts, and would like to see the evolution of my two upcoming WIPs, The Far Shore and Tsunamis, I’ll eventually be posting an index for my Story a Day May 2016 vignettes. Until then, clicking the link will take you to the category, where you can play.

Want more WIPpets? You can find them, and even add your own date-related excerpt if you’re so inclined, by following the little blue froggy from WIPpet to WIPpet to WIPpet!



  1. Aghsadlasdk, Puff The Magic Dragon gets me every time. 😥

    Sometimes I get stuck in cycles of thoughts about the same Perceived Injustice Donovan is dealing with in this scene. There really is no fairness.

    • Yes. That.

      I’ve already started writing next week’s post, because Wednesday is the 13th, and I don’t want to write the things I need to write then.

      I know you get that, without need for me to explain. It’s nice to have people in my life who do. ❤

      • You know I’m here if you need to talk. Or to share a yummy latte with. Or if you need someone to just have around and keep her mouth shut while you process and “be”

        • Thank you. It’s always hard to know what the day will bring until I’m in it. I used to make kind of a big deal about it; I used to need that. I don’t so much anymore, but forgetting altogether just isn’t an option, nor one I would take, even if it was….

          As the Vulcans say, “Kaiidth.” What is, is. What will be, will be…..

  2. Aww poor Donovan. Compassionate. I’m trying to figure out who in the world he is and why she chose him and your snippets are so vague in that department. LOL. for good reason I assume. Why would she choose him to take care of her??? Ha, I like his assumption that her legal team has probably thoroughly researched him.

    • Yes, things are a bit vague, at this point. It is a first draft, and, when I started it, I didn’t realize that it was going to be the series opener, so it will eventually need to contain enough worldbuilding to explain what Donovan’s role in this society is, the premise of Kifo Island (it might help to know that “kifo” means “death” in Swahili), and why Ava chose him.

      This is the second scene in the book, though, so, even in the final draft, you’re not going to get all of that information up front. Mostly, this scene’s job is to give us a more complete picture of Donovan, and introduce Ava (and thereby, the premise of the place, which, in this draft, I haven’t done as well as I will).

      As far as her legal team – Donovan’s been here a while, and that wouldn’t be at all out of the ordinary, and that’s all I’m saying about that for now.

      Thank you for your comments, which will definitely help to shape the revision I plan to embark upon earl y next year. =)

  3. I am liking where you’re taking this. The paragraph about perceiving that we all needed to grow into adulthood pleased me especially. Fits very well to theme “Perceived Injustice.”

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