“You Sound Tired”: Sea Changes (Kifo Island Chronicles Volume 1) for WIPpet Wednesday

Welcome to WIPpet Wednesday, a weekly blog hop which encourages writers to move WIPs (works-in-progress) to publication by posting excerpts related to the date.We’re led by the capable fingers and nimble mind of Emily Witt. 

Have you ever come home after a few days away, and everything looks both normal and strange at the same time?

That’s me with blogging over the last few weeks. Other than my regular ROW80 updates, I really haven’t posted much in June. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t been writing, because writing (and plotting, and planning) has been a lot of what has kept me away. Well, that and making sure offspring with social plans got where they were headed, and home again..

And Hamilton. Mustn’t forget Hamilton (as if I could)…

Now A Rising Tide, the fourth of my Kifo Island novels, is a complete rough draft. The Far Shore, has been plotted, and I’m over 10K into the writing (since I’m expecting it to be about 65Kish, that’s a fair chunk, and I only started writing on Sunday night, at our local write-in.

I think it’s safe to say, at this point, that I’m very happy with the way The Writer’s Coloring Book, which is the basis for this year’s Kifo Island plotting, is working for me. – and that’s good, because I’ve just dived into planning for the third and final KIC novel for this year, Tsunamis.

Eventually, all three will be drafted, and waiting as I work on getting as efficient at revisions as I’m getting at this plan/plot/draft thing….

But that’s another mountain range, for another day.

In the meantime, let’s rejoin Donovan Nash and Ava Garcia in Sea Changes (how’s that for a bad segue? You’re welcome.)

Donovan is one of my favorite Kifo Island characters. He had a major supporting role in both of my previously drafted Kifo stories. Now, he gets his own (well, shared with Karina and Ava, but still, he’s finally the star he was always meant to be!)

The premise:

In advocating for a dying girl seeking emancipation from controlling parents, can an overburdened young woman and a lonely young man find a future together?


This passage is NaNo rough. My plan is to begin creating a revision plan beginning in August as the 24 scenes pass through my local crit group. Until then, I’m focused on new writing.

Your input is gratefully accepted, and might go a long way toward making this a better novel!

WIPpet Math:

  • Today is June 29, 2016
  • I‘ve got 9 sentences today.

Donovan has agreed to assist Ava in her quest to live out her life the way she wants, and asked for access to her medical records. We pick up from there.

“You Sound Tired”

“You sound tired, Ava. Is there anything I can do right now to make you comfortable?”

“I usually nap at this hour – or what would be this hour, back home. I’ve only been here a day; I’m still a bit jetlagged.” She spoke like a seasoned traveler, and Donovan wondered if she’d had the chance to see some beautiful places before she became ill. “Maybe it’s not fair to ask you before you’ve read up on me and know what all you’re getting yourself into here – but I’ve gotten used to other people moving around while I sleep, and I’d feel better if you’d stay -”

“It’s getting a bit too bright out there for me, anyway. Would you like help getting to bed?”

“No – I’ll nap right here. It’s a very comfortable chair, and I haven’t been comfortable nearly enough, for the last three years – maybe even longer.”

Will Ava be comfortable with Donovan there?

What will her records reveal?

Will her nap be restorative?

Some of these questions may be answered – and others will certainly be posed- next week, so be sure to come back then to learn more of Donovan’s story.

To read Donovan’s scene in its entirety, just follow the links:

If you’re enjoying my Kifo Island posts, and would like to see the evolution of my two upcoming WIPs, The Far Shore and Tsunamis, I’ll eventually be posting an index for my Story a Day May 2016  vignettes.

Want more WIPpets? You can find them, and even add your own date-related excerpt if you’re so inclined, by following the little blue froggy from WIPpet to WIPpet to WIPpet!




  1. LOL! It’s seems my life is like that all the time… that feeling of utter familiarity and total alien-strangeness. I’ve felt that sort of thing pretty much all my life. It’s kind of cool in it’s own way

    I totally get Ava not wanting to move. Sometimes the mere act of moving to find the “right spot” and position in bed is just not worth the hassle, especially when one is already so very, very worn out.

  2. Interesting excerpt. Eludes to much more deeper circumstances. Like, why does she need naps (she’s sick but still??) Why is he checking up on her?
    I checked out the Writing coloring book. It sounds very interesting. Have you ever heard of the Snowflake method? it’s another method used for organizing a novel WIP. There are, frankly, numerous writing craft books out there that I wish I could buy lol.

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