I Thank You Kindly: #RevofKindness and #weekendcoffeeshare


If we were having coffee…I’d say that it’s been a challenging week, and I’m grateful you’re here. Let’s sit in my still-untidy-but-getting better family room, and have our coffee there. Once we’re settled, I’d tell you that gratitude and kindness are on my mind.

If we were having coffee…I’d tell you that we all had a rather nasty head cold this past week, but that we’re feeling better now. Still some residual sneezing and coughing, but we’re on the mend, and we’re past the point of being contagious.

Maybe because we were sick, there was a bit more than our typical amount of crankiness and impatience this week. It’s times like this, when we aren’t at our best, that I’m deeply grateful for the kindness we’ve all been practicing over the last seven years or so. Things like both kids pitching in to clear clutter when we thought we were going to have short-notice guests – and neither complaining when that didn’t happen. We ended up with a neater house, and we worked together, and that was a good thing, and a kind way for them to act.

If we were having coffee…I’d tell you that, even with our sickness, even though I forgot to check the Kindness Challenge prompt until the week was over, and even though I did my being grateful for the kindnesses in my life at the beginning of the day rather than the end- I’m still very grateful.


Because our family life IS centered in kindness. Because, even when we’re far from at our best, there’s a thread of sweetness at the core of things. It’s in the little things that happen – bless yous when someone sneezes, even if it’s the fiftieth time today. It’s my daughter bringing me a cough drop because she wants me to feel better, or it’s me taking her to the store to get the things that will help her feel better. It’s her going with me to the vet with her kitten, even though she was sick, and sweetly petting a blind elderly pug named Lucy.


If we were having coffee…I’d say that being sick could’ve been a lot harder than it was. I’d point to the sink, and the way it faces away from the whole house, so that you’ll understand the profound kindness that follows…

Like I said, we were sick. My Accomplice had it first. He was feeling better by the time I really wasn’t on Monday. It was his weekend, and he’d had a busy couple of days. No one had done dishes, and the kitchen…well, it looked just like the kitchen in one of those old commercials where Mom gets sick and the whole world goes to Hades in a handbasket.

I thought my Accomplice was puttering in the garage. I knew both kids were sleeping in their rooms. And so I vented my frustration at untidy kitchens and general ickiness. Some less than reprintable language crept in, and so did the edge of whininess and poor-me-ness I try to avoid these days.

I indulged. It was a way to off-gas before I went and said something to the other responsible adult in the house – you know, the one who brought home the bacon, fried it up in a pan (he’s a chef!), and left the mess.

When I wore down, I turned toward the washing machine right there – and there was my Accomplice, arms folded, smiling at me. I was saying definitely not-nice things about him, and he was smiling. He even hugged me! Then he sent me off t0 bed and took care of the kitchen.

If we were having coffee…I’d explain why that’s a Big Deal. My Accomplice is a wonderful mate. He makes me laugh, and smile, and my heart beat faster even nineteen years after our honeymoon. There are a couple of things you should know about him, though. The first is that he’s considerably less tidy by nature than I am. The second is that he tends to deal poorly with criticism, no matter how it’s presented. He’s aware of both, and so am I. I’m typically very careful to remove emotional volatility from my attempts to make specific changes toward a tidier living environment.

Even thinking I was alone, I wouldn’t usually have ranted the way I did. I don’t like putting that type of energy out, or giving things that frustrate me that kind of power.

Even knowing I thought I was alone, he wouldn’t usually have responded with a sense of humor and an understanding that I was overwhelmed, not feeling well, but unable to leave things as they were.

If we were having coffee…I would tell you that, to me, this is what love is. Knowing when someone’s in over their head, forgiving the moment they lose their grip on their ideals, and stepping in with kindness, affection, and exactly the kind of help they need. Sending them off to bed and doing the thing they were griping about. Not holding a grudge…letting it go.

It was kind, and I’m grateful.

If we were having coffee…we’d be done, now. I’ll lick my fingers and thank you for the treat. Then I’ll remind you to check out the #RevofKindness at The Richness of a Simple Life and #weekendcoffeeshare at The Part-Time Monster Blog by clicking the links provided.

And now it’s my turn to be kind to you…here’s a little something else I’m grateful for this week.



  1. Coffee and kindness – a beautiful combination. And while I’m sorry you’ve been ill, what a lovely example you’ve provided of how kindness is woven into your daily life. And yay for partners who send us to bed when we’re sick and overwhelmed and step up for clean up duty. Makes the heart happy. And a happy heart is a kind heart, don’t you think? 🙂

  2. I’m glad to hear you’re finally feeling better. This post made me laugh, not because it was funny but because I can relate. Well except for the tidy part. My husband is the tidy one of the two of us but I can relate to thinking that you were alone and talking to yourself. Yes, the reaction of your accomplice is one of love. Love and someone that knows you well and knows just how to deal with a situation like only he would. Thanks for the cup of coffee 🙂

  3. “If we were having coffee…I would tell you that, to me, this is what love is. Knowing when someone’s in over their head, forgiving the moment they lose their grip on their ideals, and stepping in with kindness, affection, and exactly the kind of help they need. Sending them off to bed and doing the thing they were griping about. Not holding a grudge…letting it go.”

    If we are having coffee… I’d tell you that at this point in your post I started crying. Love does that to me. I’m a blubbering hopeless romantic and reading something like this just brings on the waterworks because it really is what loving someone is about. It’s taking charge and comforting and understanding your partner when they just can’t deal with something in the moment. It says so much more than the words “I Love You” spoken. It’s actions to back up those words. It’s a surprise random act of kindness. Thank you for making me cry this morning. 🙂

    • I’m not usually glad to make people cry – but, in this case….you’re welcome.

      I tellthe kids that love is a verb. This is what I mean.

    • It’s a fairly common cold, just rather persistent. It stopped me from focusing on much of anything for two or three days, but that didn’t stop things from happening in my imagination…

      I’m trying to listen to my body and not overdo. And hugs are always appreciated! =)

  4. I really enjoy your blog, especially the “If we were having coffee…” I too have been sick for part of this challenge and all the world’s ills seem so much more serious when we don’t feel well. I hope you heal quickly and that you continue to share your heart in your blog. It is much appreciated! http://www.dianeweidenbenner.com

    • I love writing the #weekendcoffeeshare posts as much as I love coffee! It’s cool that they’re so very adaptable to whatever’s in my head or my heart at the moment I write them. More, when I’m feeling a bit stressed by wanting to keep up my blogging schedule while writing one novel, planning another, simmering a third, writing fan fiction, revising All The Things, beta-reading and critiquing….not to mention wifing, mothering, home and self and life tending….

      Well, knowing this post can easily do double or even triple duty gives me something to hold on to.

      I’m still a bit congested and tiring more easily than I usually do, but I’m letting my body be my guide. Now that my brain’s re-engaged, I’m using the greater need for rest time as writing space, and that’s helping me feel better about things.

      As for sharing my heart here – I don’t know any other way to blog, or at least no other way that I’d find worth the time and effort I put in here. Sharing and connecting are my life’s blood.

      It touches me to know that this little slice of my soul has touched you. Thank you kindly for sharing that! ❤

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