Deep Places: #WeWriWa #8Sunday

Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors’ Eight Sentence Sunday!

It’s the weekly hop for everyone who loves to write! We’ve got a variety of genres and talented writers just waiting for you to come sample their wordy wares. Come read one, or all, or pick a few like leftover holiday memories….

If you’re inclined to share your own 8-10 sentence snippet, follow the link and sign up. It’s a great community to be a part of! =D

It’s the weekend again (OK, in the interest of full disclosure, it’s only Thursday evening as I type this, but it will be the weekend when you read this.) I’ve shifted my main focus from Story a Day May to JuNoWriMo – and from exploring characters and their stories to actually, well, writing the novels these characters will inhabit.

Enough about that, though. As far as we’re concerned. it is the weekend, so it’s time for another snippet from “A Splash of Red,” which I’m serializing. This surreal fantasy story is the child of my own life and dreams, with a generous dollop of imagery and a big dash of creative license…

More on the story after the eight-sentence snippet.

Context, such as it is…A woman is attempting to win the trust of a little girl in a red dress, while hawks wheel above. The child has asked if she has children of her own, and the woman answered that she does.

Given the surrealism of the story, punctuation is a bit creative, so be warned!

Deep Places

Deep places roll through her eyes; the hawks wait, but they know their prey. So does my child self; she watches my eyes, then the pebble on my palm. She shivers under the hawk’s chilling shadow. I can feel her thoughts and feelings crashing and crowding within her. Answers. Above all, if she is to trust, she must have answers that she can trust.

“Do you -?” She bites back the question and twists her hair; only now do I realize that I am doing the same.

What does the child want to ask?

Why does she hesitate?

Why does the woman echo the child’s actions?

Next week may bring answers –

and certainly more questions!

Previous “A Splash of Red” snippets:

Did you like what you read? “A Splash of Red” was originally published in the 2014 inaugural edition of World Unknown Review,  which is edited by L.S. EnglerSince I retain all rights beyond first publication, I intend to revise the story and use it as my own initial self-publishing experiment.

That being said, I’d love any and all input and criticism you’re inclined to offer. Until then, may your week be delightful! =D

And in tangentially related news, I’m honored to be May’s Featured Writer for the 2015 edition of World Unknown Review! Here’s my story, “Monday Morning Coffee”, available free for a limited time only at L.S. Engler. You can also read my interview with L.S.

Want more #8Sunday?


  1. Deep places roll through her eyes

    I can feel her thoughts and feelings crashing and crowding within her.

    I save your post ’til last, Shan, so I can savour it. Such beautiful phrasing. It is always a treat to read these snippets.

    • Oh, Kim…you are so so sweet. This story…it comes from my own deep places, and there’s a definite validation in the response it’s getting. Thank you for sharing. ❤

  2. Love that extra tension at the end. I’m almost wishing the woman would encourage the girl to ask her question, but it’s clear this is not something that can be rushed.


    • You’re right. Can’t be rushed, and if the woman has an agenda, the child will know. Kids are great at picking up on agendas, and human nature is to resist force.

      Waiting is definitely the best policy. Fortunately, the next installment is tomorrow. =)

    • Indeed it is! I wonder if finding out what it is will surprise you next week? We are getting close to the end, now, so the answer has deep meaning to the little girl, and possibly to the woman, too.

Take a chance! Type something in this box, and see what happens! =D

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.