Am I Too Late? #WeWriWa #8Sunday

Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors’ Eight Sentence Sunday!

It’s the weekly hop for everyone who loves to write! We’ve got a variety of genres and talented writers just waiting for you to come sample their wordy wares. Come read one, or all, or pick a few like leftover holiday memories….

And, if you’re inclined to share your own 8-10 sentence snippet, follow the link and sign up. It’s a great community to be a part of! =D

Hello, all!

I’m coming to you slightly chagrined. During the end of January, I lost my pace with getting around to visit other bloggers, and answering comments, as I readied a story for submission. I was just getting back into the flow when my Accomplice went on vacation. We’re not traveling, but there’s been a lot of decluttering and organizing going on around here, and, this week, there’s also been some local travel – I took my daughter to the New York State Museum, from which she left on a two night visit with one of her besties. My Accomplice and I had our first lunch date in a looong time (we’re talking multiple years, here, but, with our kids getting older, there’s going to be more attention paid to these little romantic gestures.)

At any rate, here we are, nearing the end of another week, another month – and I’ve got another story to polish for submission, and another to submit to my crit group. I’m going to get to the comments, and at least a few visits. REALLY. Because it’s important to me, and I feel a little bad about how absent I’ve been.

But, in the meantime, it’s time for my next snippet from A Splash of Red”, which I’m serializing here. This surreal fantasy story is the child of my own life and dreams, with a generous dollop of imagery and a big dash of creative license…

More on the story after the right-sentence snippet.

Context, such as it is…A woman is attempting to win the trust of a little girl in a red dress, while hawks wheel above…but just who are these two to one another? Are the hawks the only danger they face?

When we left last week, the little girl was somewhere in the woods, and the woman was learning to breathe while she coped with the threat of a stooping hawk.

Given the surrealism of the story, punctuation is a bit creative, so be warned!

Am I Too Late?

Am I too late? Did I, after all, let the hawks frighten me, make me wait too long to come to her?

Air comes in impotent wheezes, pounding outward from my straining lungs, my stabbing gasps.

I run for her – My foot snags on a root, white pain heat flashing up into a cry choked by dirt in my mouth. I spit, grit-blind, blinking and dry-sobbing around my barren breaths – I scrape my eyes clear, blurry vision returning – decaying log, covered with a mossy blanket.

And a splash of red.

Previous “A Splash of Red” snippets (chronologically):

Is the splash of red the little girl, or something else?

Was the woman badly injured in her fall?

Have the hawks given up on them?

Can they heal together?

Come on back next week to find out more!

Did you like what you read? “A Splash of Red” was originally published in the 2014 inaugural edition of World Unknown Review,  which is edited by L.S. Engler. Since I retain all rights beyond first publication, I intend to revise the story and use it as my own initial self-publishing experiment.

That being said, I’d love any and all input and criticism you’re inclined to offer, and I’ll even respond -eventually! =/

Want more #8Sunday?

My gratuitous sharing of a splash of red – my own little devil darling at age 7.


    • I’m so happy that you’re enjoying it. It went through many incarnations, and is almost unrecognizable from the original draft. There’s more of me in this one than in maybe any other fictional piece I’ve written, so it’s maybe more gratifying than it might be that it’s being well-received.

      I hope you’ll continue to enjoy – and that you’ve had time to catch your breath, too! =D

    • Well, it’s mostly happy chaos. A few bits are frustrating, but that just makes the good parts all the sweeter…

      I’ve decided that this is the year I really get a handle on revisions. To that end, I’m not only dealing with my own work, but I’ve joined a small weekly(ish) critique group, and have taken on something in the Enterprise fan fiction realm, as well. Lots of practice makes better, right?

      I love that people felt the fall. I struggled with that bit. Being rather intensely acrophobic, falling is maybe one of my least favorite experiences, and I wanted to capture it well.

    • Thanks, Ed. It took more rewrites and tweaks than I want to remember to get that feeling right. Personally, I fear even little bitty falls, so that may have factored into it. =)

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