If We Were Having Coffee…Coffee and Conversation Changes its Spots

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that this is the first time I’ve tried this, and I’m both excited and a little nervous. I’m coming to you experimentally, on a cloudy, sleepy Saturday evening, with a sweet hot cuppa sitting beside me. The house is quiet; my Accomplice (otherwise known as Chef Bluebeard), is at work. My son is in his room, watching videos. My daughter is showering. She turned eleven and a half yesterday, and I’d tell you that she’s growing up so fast – they both are. And yet, there are still these endearing, precious-because-I-know-they-can’t-last moments where they’re both still little enough inside to need Mommy the way they did when they were younger.

With my big kids, December 2015.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that my life is paradoxical. As I sit in my study, I can see both cluttered chaos and clean organization – it’s like that throughout the house, but it’s getting gradually tidier, as the kids grow and get better at seeing how leaving things scattered can have an adverse effect on life. Someday, maybe, I’ll have a house as clean as I dream of, where clutter is the momentary sign of a flurry of activity, swiftly swept back up into its proper homes to await its next use…but, then again, that would likely mean that I wouldn’t get to live with three fascinating people I love dearly, and who mean a lot more to me than a clean house ever could…

Saturday in my study, with coffee.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I stepped away for a bit to make us a cozy fire as the winter dark sets in, and to put lotion on my daughter’s back, and that now my hands smell like fresh berries. I’d tell you that we giggled and listened to music, and that now I’m back, with a faint smile lingering at the corners of my lips, listening to my deep-voiced teen, the muted sounds of a Minecraft Gangnam Style parody from the bathroom, the ticking of the clock, tapping of the keys, and the chiming music of my phone timer, telling me it’s time to get up and move – check the fire, do some dishes, and then come back…

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that this is a peaceful home – and that there are many gradients on our scale of peace. Sometimes, like right now, it’s a calm and slumberous peace that makes me think of The Napping House. Other times, it’s a loud, boisterous, active peace. Its mood can change in an instant – but the peace remains, running beneath, like a pulsing rhythm. I would tell you that that simple fact amazes me…it’s so foreign to what I knew, growing up, and yet so essential to my happiness. I would tell you that building a relationship with my children is so much easier than attempting to control them ever was, and that it’s infinitely more useful. I would tell you that I’m awed every day at this life, and these children who won’t be children much longer. I’d tell you I’m still gobsmacked to have a son bigger than me, and still growing; a son with a man’s voice when he shares his profound thoughts when we chat alone together in the deep of the night, watching Finding Your Roots and COPS, and discussing…well, anything and everything that comes to mind.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I awoke to the sounds of my Accomplice on the roof, patching for the umpteenth time, and that we hope we can manage to replace that roof, in the next year or so. I’d tell you that he brought me my first cuppa, and that we chatted about this and that, and that I still love kissing him goodbye even after nearly 19 years together, and that I’m eternally grateful that he’s been willing to take so many leaps of faith, trusting in my intuition. I’d rhapsodize about the way he earns a living so that I can concentrate on the children and writing. I’d say that he’s funny, warm, sensitive, and that that blue beard of his turns me on more than a little, because it suits him so well.

Me and Chef Bluebeard. ❤

If we were having coffee, you’d discover that I like to talk, and listen. You’d maybe see that there’s something at once far off and inwardly focused in my eyes; you might guess that I’m in a new-moon creative mode, and that stories are unfurling in my mind, claiming a good deal of my attention. If we had a second cuppa, you might learn who the stories concern (if you didn’t know me well enough to not even need to guess, that is…).

If we were having coffee, you might’ve just seen me nearly spit mine on my keyboard, because my daughter, who wanted to tell my son something, said, very naturally, “I’ll text him.” His room is only 20 feet or so from where she just set up her Littlest Pet Shop game; she doesn’t want to get up or yell through the house. I’d tell you that the technology that’s so naturally a part of their lives amazes me more than a little.

Natural technological aptitude!

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you it’s time for me to go, and direct you to Part Time Monster’s Weekend Coffee Share…via the link or the little blue froggy! And I’d wish you all a week full of the very loveliest of chaos!


      • I really like them. And readers always seem to feel connected because it’s so day-to-day in our lives. I think we all like to feel we’re on the same boat in at least some regard.

        • I definitely had at least one visitor comment that the coffee share made her feel more welcome than my other posts -maybe in the manner of the fireside chat…

          I’m going to be thinking about how to incorporate more of that into my other posts – but, for the time being, it’s nice to have one post that’s connecting on that level.

          I think I’ll check out Share Your World, too…

    • It wasn’t bad at all – I had a blast writing that post, and finding my images and links.

      Now, getting to all these lovely comments, and making visits, and doing all my other writing and living…that might be trickier.

      I can live with that. =)

  1. Now this is the kind of post I like to read. Gotta admit, all the ROW and other writing-acronym stuff feels more like I’m looking over your shoulder as you write in your journal–it’s clearly a good thing for you to be doing, but I don’t really feel invited to participate. This cuppa stuff, now–that’s my cuppa, only in my case it’s tea. 🙂

    • Hi there, Gretchen!

      I do see what you mean – I hadn’t thought of it as sharing my journal – but it really is kind of like journaling on the blog. Anyone is welcome to play, but not everyone will want to…

      I see those posts as encouragement to others – it can seem like writing is a solitary venture, and I want to offer a peek into all the things that go into the process…

      But, if you feel most welcome having a cuppa this way, you’re in luck. I drink lots of hot sweet coffee – but my son is strictly into tea, and we’ve amassed quite a collection. Stop by anytime – I’d love to have you! =)

          • It’s funny how certain things make us feel connected. Last night I went to hear a musician, a singer-songwriter in her 20s (I think). While I admired her songwriting and her chops, I didn’t care much for her voice, and I was starting to tune out when she explained the background of one of her songs. She described riding her bike in the wee hours to her job at a bakery, and drinking Earl Grey tea when she got there. My girl! (She also mentioned at some point that she was a runner too, but it was really the Earl Grey, on top of the baking & biking, that sealed the deal for me.)

  2. I’d say you earn an A+ for this your first Weekend Coffee Share! Not that I have any official say so, since I’ve only been participating a couple of months, but what a lovely post! My husband and I are about ten years ahead of you in terms of family life; our two sons are age 24 and 25 and we’ve been married (gulp!) 29 years as of next week. Your post really brought back to me the wonderful sweetness that is family life with children at home! And I promise you the next phase is just as good — our young men are practicing their “adulting” and we enjoy being around them when we get together just as much as when they were small, plus we have the added joy of hearing about their lives and growing independence, so you have all of that to look forward to. Have a wonderful week and I do hope you will be back next time!

    • I can’t imagine a time with either of these young people that I won’t feel incredibly lucky to know them!

      Both are pretty independent already, and we have, by choice, embraced a life that allows them a great deal of autonomy in their lives. So, as they’re making their way toward adulthood – sometimes rushing headlong, others moseying along poking at everything along the way the way they did on toddler walks – I’m amazed again and again at the way they go about this process.

      I’m honored and fortunate to have been able to spend so many years with them, to see their learning right here, without sending them off each day for someone else to get to see it.

      29 years (and then more!_ with my Accomplice would suit me fine! ❤

      Enjoy your "adulting" offspring, and that husband, too! I'm popping in on you next! =D

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