Into the Maze Once Again: Foul Deeds Will Rise: (Trueborn Weft #2) for #WeWriWa #8Sunday

Welcome to

Weekend Writing Warriors’ Eight Sentence Sunday!

It’s the weekly hop for everyone who loves to write! Sign up below with your name, blog and email and share an 8 to 10 sentence snippet of your writing on Sunday. Your post needs to be live between 12:00 noon on Saturday 07/25/15 and 9:00 AM on Sunday 07/26/15. Visit other participants on the list and read, critique, and comment on their #8sunday posts.

It’s a second chance to share a small snippet of my current writing. Most weeks, I tie them back to my WIPpet Wednesday  post, so reading both can give a deeper peek…

This ten-sentence snippet is a rough draft that follows immediately after last week’s WIPpet, First Ripening (for adult readers only; trigger warning)

Before you read on, a disclaimer:

This scene is intended for adults only. It is rated strongly R for sexual content; in addition, it contains potentially triggering material. If these aren’t your cup of tea, this might be a good post to skip – I’ll understand.

Into the Maze Once Again

He was Kaivelt in her mind, and, again and again, he steered her from thoughts of the maze, the Canivaarii, the red blood on the blue stones, and the faces…

He steered her away, until she calmed – but then, when she wasn’t fleeing the danger, reliving the horror of simply having done what was needful to save her own life, she began to focus only on this Matehunt…

He was Kaivelt in her mind, but in truth, he was not. He could be Kaivelt to her only so long as she believed him to be – but she couldn’t believe, if she could see and feel clearly…

So, having led her from the horrors, again and again, he gave her back to them, set a Hunt that led them into the maze once more – and then once more, and once more, and then again, and again…how was he able to give her his seed so many times? Never before had he been able to give so freely and so often of himself, and his seed….his blood, passing through his blood, purified –

He knew she would conceive a child of this day. It would be his Truestborn, twice carrying his blood. She would conceive, because sima garo provided this – this murder of a mother, madness of a mate, even the arytana vines that grew thick and strong enough for this bower, which he had woven when she slept, because she could scream no more. Even then, as she lay below, and he wove their nest here, there were whimpers and little sounds left over, as though she’d scream for all time if only she was able.

What happened in the maze?

Who is ‘she’?
Will she discover what is being done to her?

Why does this character want a Truestborn, to begin with?

Hunt down more of the story:

One last thing….if you’re a fan of my favorite Vulcan and the human who loves her, don’t worry. They‘re still trying to get my attention (Trip’s waving his arms, but T’Pol is just giving me ‘the stare’) and slipping bits of this and that into my head, even though they know I’m busy… so, sooner or later, they’re going to demand that I stop everything else and let them at it…or at each other…or at something else…

The point is, they’ll be back…they always are!

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  1. Wow, I can’t even formulate a comment because I was so blown away by the intensity and the complex, haunting use of language. An amazing snippet, carrying much power.

    • *blushes and digs toe in the sand….*

      I’m honored and bewildered at the positive response to this snippet. I’ve struggled to find Tacivaar’s voice in the past, but I think I have it now…

      Thank you for your lovely and inspiring words!

    • Why, ,thank you, Theresa! I am most honored.

      I’ll admit being a little nervous about posting this week’s excerpt, because of the subject matter and the fact that the antagonist sees nothing wrong with what is obviously a major invasion….

      Responses like this help me out more than you know! And I promise – there’s much, much more to this story! =)

    • Thanks, Elizabeth!

      I’m not sure I created this world – I think it was more or less always inside me, just waiting for me to bring it out and share it.

      These are indeed very different creatures from most of those we have on this world – and Tacivaar himself is even stranger than most, for many reasons…

      And that’s all I’m going to say, except that there will be much more from this world in the future…

  2. That’s an excerpt with strong emotions. It raises a lot of intriguing questions. It reads like you have a lot of backstory for the characters which is always a good thing. One thing did kind of bother me, though — the many dashes and ellipses. Punctuation like that can be an effective way to create mystery but used that often, it tends to make the piece read kind of choppy. That’s just my opinion.

    Putting on my moderator’s hat, thank you for including a backlink to our page, but you used the link for last week’s sign-up. It’s an easy mistake to make! If you just use the link for our home page, you won’t have to worry about keeping the link updated. Thanks again, Shan 🙂

    • I’ve been living with these characters in my head since I was 13, and I’m about to celebrate my 46th birthday…

      So backstory? Yup, I’ve got volume of it! =)

      I will admit to having a passion for dashes, ellipses (elipsi?), and that little beauty, the semicolon. I tend to indulge my passions in the initial drafting, and then say farewell to most of my darlings in subsequent versions.

      On the other hand, since this is a sex scene, and thoughts can be choppy then, and because Reasons I’m not ready to disclose, there may well end up being more of these in this passage than in most of the story.

      Reader opinions are always valued, here!

      As for the bobbled link – d’oh! I’ll pop over and fix it in a bit. This is a particularly intense time for my family and I, and, though I went through the draft twice, I clearly missed that. I’ll take your suggestion to just link to the main page. It’ll save me some time, and alleviate the chance for that particular human error to recur.

      Thanks for stopping by, and for the suggestions and input, Owllady! =)

    • Thank you, Kim. Tacivaar is not even a little bit human, so I’m glad that comes through, since this is his first scene in the book (he’s not really one for waiting around for things to happen, at least not at this point….).

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