OctPoWriMo Day 19: April 13, 1995: For Tim, Whom I Love Still

 

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Hello, and welcome to OctPoWriMo, Day Nineteen!

What’s OctPoWriMo, you ask? Well, it’s a whole month of poetic creation – 31 poems in 31 days. It’s the creative baby of Morgan Dragonwillow and Julie Jordan Scott.

This year, I intend to follow all the prompts, and get the joy of discovery…

I hope you’ll stop by, settle in, and find a little bit of magic here!

Today’s prompt was to write a poem using the theme ‘Rain’.

This is one of those themes that instantly triggered a memory, and I knew the subject of my poem. I resisted writing it for a while, though…

For over seventeen mostly wonderful years, I’ve been married to my Accomplice in Mischief…but, before that, I was engaged to Tim, who had cystic fibrosis, and died 11 months and 6 days into our lives together…

My Molasses T, this one’s for you, with my heart and soul. ❤

April 13, 1995: For Tim, Whom I Love Still

Rain

Beating

Glass window

Above around

Oppressive wild force

Choking away breath

Pelting me hard with truth

Thin blanket and a couch bed

Strange sterile non-silence all around

The hospital that had become home

Now an alien prison to trap us

In separate cells far too far away

I know what I cannot yet accept

Sheltered away from each new clue

Now the rain beats with cruel truth

How your lungs are drowning

My love can’t save you

From genetics

The rain beats

With my

Fears

Showers and storms of poetry here!

The first song I heard after Tim died…he loved Kansas.

24 comments

    • Thank you. Sometimes it feels like forever ago; sometimes I’m right there again, with that first April storm pounding the truth into my soul, and then the events that happened in the morning…the morning that he died.

      It boggles my mind that it’s been almost 20 years….

        • Much of the time, it feels like a different life…and you describe it personally. I can go back and feel him, hear him, see him, smell him…

          I have a wonderful life in part because Tim was part of it, and I miss him.

          Strange to think that he’s been dead nearly as long as you’ve been alive. Strange to think I was so young…

          • I am a firm believer that those who say young love doesn’t exist are incorrect. You can love someone just as much when you’re in your teens or twenties as you can when you’re older.

          • Not so many years ago, 14 and 15 year olds were getting married and starting families. It’s not biology that’s responsible for keeping people “kids” longer; it’s society.

            Love grows up with children. Children grow up faster, and are capable of far more, than is often believed.

            I was 25 when Tim died, and very very capable of loving him in a way that hasn’t vanished, even after almost 2 decades. And not because I’m not happy – loving Tim feeds loving Jim, and the kids, and I have a pretty amazing life. I don’t lack for love now, and I know that loving Tim has more than a little to do with this.

            Love is love, and age isn’t nearly as important as commitment.

          • I have people tell me all the time that I was/am ‘too young’ to love my boyf. Yet we’ve been together nearly five years and have a very healthy and loving relationship, compared to a lot of adults I know!

          • I had people tel me that marrying a man I’d known less than six months was a mistake. Over seventeen years later, he’s still my best friend, and he still makes my heart beat faster when he smiles. ❤

            It's not a matter of age, or how long you've known someone, but what you create between you.

            YOU are healthier and more mature than more than a few much older people that I know.

            And only you and he really know the depth of what you share.

          • Age has never been nearly as important to me as what’s inside a person. I’ve always had friends of many ages, and I like it that way. Older doesn’t always (or maybe even often) mean better, stronger, smarter, kinder…

          • Most of my friends are either older or younger, and it’s been that way for a long time. I think what should matter is how well you connect with someone, not how old the person is.

    • Tim was one of a kind. We lived a lot, and loved a lot, in that 11 months and 6 days. I didn’t know -really know – he was dying until his doctor took me aside and told me. Twenty minutes later, he was gone…

      Except that he’s still a part of me, and he made me a better person, a person capable of being a truly loving wife and mother….

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