Story A Day May 19: “Adjustments”

Hello, and welcome to my 2014 Story A Day Challenge,Day 19! If you’d like to read today’s story without commentary, click here.

I am basing my stories upon Star Trek: Enterprise, and the intriguing interspecies relationship between T’Pol of Vulcan and Trip Tucker, who is very, very human.

Note:

This story is a fan fiction extrapolation of an unwrittenscene in the  Star Trek: Enterpriseepisode The Xindi” .

T’Pol and Trip are property of Paramount; no copyright infringement is intended.

Today’s Story A Day prompt is to experiment with multiple points of view.

This was easier than yesterday’s third person, omniscient, for me, as I found out while experimenting with my existing “test” story; Golden Slipper. I used a series of first person vignettes, telling smaller, more personal stories in the framework of the larger story the episode tells. I had quite a bit of fun with it, even if it took most of the day to get there! Read the third-person omniscient POV redux.

My own plan called for me to explore the episode The Expanse”. After making intensive changes to “Golden Slipper”, I moved on to this project happily, and had a 2700 word story before I knew it!

This is largely unedited; time was short.

I like to crawl deeply inside my characters, feel as they feel, think as they think, know as they know. This point of view let me play in the heads of several characters, all at once.

And now, here is an excerpt from my story, Adjustments.Click on the title for the complete story.

T’Pol’s hands, strong yet gentle, played over my back, and, everywhere she touched, warm relaxation spread outward from the neural nodes I didn’t even know I had, before tonight.

Why the hell had I fought this so hard? I was alone with T’Pol, shirtless, and she was touching me. It was peaceful here in her quarters, with its dimness and candlelight, and the deep peace that reigned here. A woman’s touch; if understated. I could tell what colors she liked best, what textures she liked to touch.

She said little, except to explain what she was doing, and to instruct me in the proper breathing, which she’d already told me at least five times was vitally important. But she seemed – comfortable. I was a little ashamed that it had taken me this long to realize that she was lonely, and that I could help her while I let her help me.

“I’ve been having these nightmares- do Vulcans have them?”

“We employ various techniques to guide our dreaming,” she murmured. But her hands stilled, and she leaned forward. I could feel one breast brush my shoulder, tantalizing. “Your breathing, Commander.

“Sorry.”

I wasn’t about to open that can of worms. I’d’ve jumped on the chance, a few months back – but now….now, I wasn’t sure what I could offer her, or what it meant that she had essentially given up everything to come with us. Was it because I’d gotten her drunk? Was it an impulsive choice that she now had to live with? And what the hell would I do if she got hurt or killed out here?

“Breathing is the most important component of neuropressure,” she reminded me. I turned a little, to see her watching me with that worried look on her face. I wondered just when I’d learned to read her expressions and her voice – when she first came aboard, she’d seemed almost robotically nonexpressive. But then, I’d already seen her in the club, and seen the way the music danced across her face in tiny, potent shifts.

Damn – remembering that sent my breathing in the wrong direction. “Would it help you to talk about the details of your dreams, Trip? I don’t wish to pry, but they seem to be – distressing. I’ve  learned that humans often benefit from the sharing of such things.”

You can find all of my May Challenge stories at my “official” Story a Day blog. My commentary on the process of creating these stories is here.

Interested in reading more Story A Day offerings, or joining the challenge? It’s not too late!

 

3 comments

    • Jocelyn,

      Thank you! These two – they are so much fun to watch, and to write new stories for! It’s a multilayered, richly textured canvas – perfect for the different approaches. I’m learning a tremendous amount – not just about writing, or these characters, but also about myself.

      It’s my third year doing this challenge, but the first using the prompts. I’m so happy I did, because it’s been an amazing ride, and I’ve gotten to take it with T’pol and Trip, which is even cooler! =)

  1. I don’t know much about Star Trek (I’m more Star Wars than Star Trek personally), but I loved that detail of how at first he thought T’Pol was almost robotic but now he has learnt to read her expressions. That tells me so much about both of them and their relationship – a very potent detail!

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