Bounding Trust – #ROW80 Commentary, 1/27/13

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Have you ever written so much, with such intensity, so quickly that it exhausted and emptied you?  Felt the words flowing with the power of a tsunami?

This post is a hybrid –  something new I’m trying.  It’s part update, part something else…more or less, a stream-of-consciousness peek into a thin slice of my life…

Post-first evaluation goals

Goals, sans commentary

It’s a BLOG HOP!

First off, a little bit of 750 words musing, done in sections on Saturday, January 26. ..

~~A little bit of a personal challenge, for me, tonight, and maybe not straight exposition, even though my informal schedule says it should be.

I am trying to get my words in before this Netflixed ADAM-12 is over.

I am trying to revise The Last House.

I am editing as a kindness, and, although not panicked or committed, I know that I want to do it quickly, and well.

I have a kid project I was working on, and got sidetracked.

And I have my own things, and, liking a personal challenge, I want to do them all, now…

And thoughts are whirling around, swirling and melding.

Good things are fermenting. I am growing, composting, simmering, stretching…

I’m finding myself far more open, ready to move forward, and open to what awaits…

It’s learning to trust.

An eight year old Force of Nature we call – Annalise! Stillwater, NY October 2012.

Before I sleep, I am going to be posting my first bit of fanfic, just a snippet, listed as pending, because there well may be many changes, still, along the way…it may also be an alternate writing for Sima Garo Provides

Or not.

I am blending stories together, and they are becoming more cohesive and symbiotic….and that is a very good thing.

As is the editing. Seeing the places where someone else gets stuck makes me a lot more aware of my own…and compassionate, and more able to see the quality through typos that would once have turned me off.

I’m at that point in my creative cycle where many things are in the middle, and there don’t seem to be nearly as many beginnings and endings as I would like. I like beginnings and ending, filled with potential or accomplishment.

I know the middle is supposed to be the easiest, but it isn’t, for me. I mean, yes, less effort is required, but also, more work with less obvious progress…

I know what comes next, and soonish. There will be some finishings, and that will make room for new beginnings, and, somehow, if it all doesn’t come out as I had hoped, it will at least come out well enough, with progress…

And, at some tipping point I can’t ever see from this side, the middle will slide into the ending, the beginnings will swell to the plateau of the middle, and the cycle will move along…

Warrior Jeremiah at age 8, Plymouth, MA, July 2010.

There might be a metaphor in there somewhere….

That’s the thing about writing this way, and living this way. I may have ideas, and a path in mind, but the jourbey – the journey is ever a surprise.

I don’t think I’d care much for life or writing if it wasn’t.

There needs to be time, and space, for discovery. I don’t want to always be able to predict what’s next, and so I don’t live a planned life, so much as a flowing one.

It works, for me.

Maybe that’s the thing. People keep coming to my blog, and commenting that I have so many goals, do so much, am so organized…

I used to protest that it wasn’t true – but, enough people have expressed the sentiments that there must be some truth in the perception.

What I’ve realized is that it is organized…in the best sense.

My writing life is organized – for ME.

I don’t have the type of system I can write out and teach to anyone.

In the typical sense, I don’t even have a system, at all.

What I have is a passion for writing that has been a constant through most of my life, and a love affair with language and imagery that goes back to my earliest baby memories.

And I have, with a lot of growth and awareness, learned to trust in that passion, and give it all the care and affection I give to my beloveds…

Me and my doppleganger muse….Iggy Jingles doll and photo by Robyn Coburn.

I set so many goals, because I love the symbiosis of a buffet, or a thick stew – the way flavors and textures and nutrients come together to make something new, each time.

So, whatever sampling I am enjoying today, it will not be the same as it was yesterday. One goal feeds another, and another, and soon ideas are whirling around like they are just now… and that is good, all around..

Organized….hmmmn….it wouldn’t seem so, and there are those who would laugh at the very notion. (719 words – almost did it!)

Until very recently, I was one of them….and now I’m not. Know why?

Because I am organized. I have arranged my life in the way of flowing water, or flame, which both suit my nature well. Things flow into others; ignite others, trickle off, subside into glowing embers…but, always, with the potential for something else to grow from them – a green pond; a leaping spark…

Like life….

Birthday chicken soup (I didn’t make this!)….January, 2012.

There are parts of that up there, written early this morning, before I slept, that are so true they give me chills!

I’m waiting out the next four minutes, just wanting to clear whatever is at the top of my head, and then I am going to go do a little hometending, come right back here…

And I am going to freewrite, for as long as I need, The Last House.

I’m not reading any of what I wrote last night first, just going in on my night of dreaming, and seeing what comes forth…after, I can roll things together, and see where I am, but for this session, I just write…


Okay, I got some firewood in, revived the fire, fluffed the laundry, roughfolded, and brought inside. I put some towels away, set up fresh dishwater, got some dishes in to soak, put a few away, and tidied a bit of kitchen clutter…now to go put lotion on my dry and uncomfy hands, then to write a story…


 

Partner in parenthood, accomplice in mischief. Lover, companion, and friend…the Mr. to my Mrs., and the skip in my heartbeat. (Also, a Henry VIII lookalike!).

So what was my writing week like?

  • I completed and posted two essays.
  • I completed two  flash fiction pieces – one was posted, and the other submitted.
  • I made notes and created timeline synposes for several chapters in two WIP novels.
  • I wrote two chapters in  Sima Garo Provides, and wrote prep notes for one.
  • I edited a blog sidebar and design elements.
  • I publicly posted  a piece of my Star Trek fan fiction (a passion for me since I was 13!). This is a first…and took a lot of nerve for a very short piece.
  • I am editing Shah Wharton’s Finding Esta –  this was a spontaneous decision, to help iron out some first-book wrinkles, and it has fed my own writing.

 

 

Me, in my elemental state. York, Maine, September 2008. Photo by Eden Mabee, my lifelong Syster by choice.

So, in this week, I threw myself into a major project, re-submitted a formerly rejected piece, allowed myself to indulge in alternate scene writing, and shared myself deeply.

 

I’ve claimed my passion for my fanfiction, bringing it out of the nether world of my writing life, and into a fresh, new, midwinter’s dawn…

 

It’s been a full-rich week of intensity, and now I am feeling the calm that descends after the storm….and so I will exhale, and allow the swells to subside as they will.

 

Are you in the surge, the ebb, or the space between?

 

 

 

 

 

 

2 comments

  1. A surge of some sorts here too… Where did post your fanfiction?

    (I don’t know what’s going on, but it seems that most any link I’ve seen on your blog hasn’t worked in a good month. Is it a setting you’ve changed?)

    And yes, you are organized. I knew that a long time ago. 😀

    • Odd… the links are working for me…but…I do tend to use bold and underline, for emphasis..maybe that’s confusing, and I need to putter with it…

      I changed some design and font settings in the upgrade to pro, but nothing else…

      I’d love to know a few specific ones thataren’t working for you, so that I can test them…

      The fanfiction is at Trueborn Jottings, because it’s a potential rewrite for Sima Garo Provides (kivaswine is important to the plot, but it occurred to me somewhere around chapter 4, and I just stuck it in because, hey, it was NaNo!

      When rereading, though, I saw that, if I brought it in right from the outset, it poses an immediate benefit and threat, I maybe get the suspension of disbelief going, and things tighten up FAST, while we are learning what the relationships are…

      You, are, of course, my litmus test…so I will send you the link, and you can do what you do so well, and tell me what I really meant to say….

      Yes, I believe I’ve heard you mention that organization thing, but I thought it was just cause you love me, and remember those frightening days of the paper-bristling, textbook-sliding, Spock-underlined, response folder days of our youth….;)

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