Platform Building Campaign – “Belated First Challenge”

Due to Jim’s accident and hospitalization, I’m coming a week late to this challenge.    Still, I thought that I would like to try it, as though the challenge were being held this week and not last.

So, as per this challenge ……here goes. My entry is in the fantasy genre.


Written by Shan Jeniah Burton Copyright 2012

 Shadows crept across the wall; the dancers‘ forms  misshapen by the fitful  orange glow of the arytana-infused flames.  They slunk and stalked, re-enacting the Hunt just past.

Their flowing movements were like the hunting, and yet unlike, false  –

“You are displeased with tonight’s dancing, child?”

The Huntleader crouched too closely beside her, and she knew  that he would gift her again tonight, in hopes that she would at last offer him the pleasure of her furs, after the feasting turned to Matehunt.

“The dancers do not move as hunters do.  They have other instincts…..this is not the hunt I remember.”

He pressed in more closely, and she knew he was sure of her. “Do you not find it rousing, child?”

“I find it beautiful  – and count it utterly unlike the beauty of the Hunting.  Let the dancers dance their own stories, and leave these to those who lived and know them.”

He made a gesture, and the dancers retreated.   “Show us, child, how YOU dance the Hunt!”

She sprang up, circling the fire….then darted out and away, springing to the ledge and through the arched opening…..the Huntlands welcome before her, and behind….everything faded.

There it is.  200 words, exactly, according to Word Count Tool

I think this took me about 45 minutes to complete.

I wonder if I would have written the same story, if I had seen this, a week ago?

Click on the images to go to the source page.


  1. Shah –

    I’m finding that too…..I hope to be doing some serious editing by round 3 of ROW80, and I am eager to see how these forays into very very short pieces will change the way I approach my editing….and its results. I will admit that the prospect is a lot more exciting than it used to be.

    Thank you for your kind words. I am enjoying bringing situations from my own worlds into the flash fiction universe. Good for the flash pieces, and good for worldbuilding and new comprehension of my characters and their motivations…

    I’m also envisioning new characters more fully and clearly – not to mention faster – than ever before.


  2. I learned/learn so much from writing poetry/flash fiction/micro fiction as regards quality over quantity. It’s difficult at first, then you begin to think like it generally. At least thats how it worked with me. I need to maintain this while editing my final draft too 🙂

    Lovely little slice of fantasy and thanks for linking up at creation blog hop X

  3. Cool twist. I love how she escaped into the woods and everything faded. Well written and quickly done. I find it takes me longer to shorten my writing than actually writing it. 🙂

    • Clarbojahn –

      I am a very wordy person, both verbally and in writing. It helps me tremendously to keep a running word count, so I can tailor the writing to the space available.

      I’m finding that I’m getting a whole new feel for which words and details are essential.

      My latest effort was to be only 33 words. The tenseness and tautness of the prompt and my story really lent themselves to that, and I ended up with what feels like a very evocative poem.

      I thought this would be a tricky form for me, but I’m glad I tried it, because I’m really enjoying the challenge and, often, the results. It seems to zing away everything but the truth…..

      Thanks for stopping by!

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