One Minute Writer Post – “Title”

Our Wedding Day - August 23, 1997


  Sometimes, I get mail addressed to me as Mrs.,  but more often as Ms.  I do not like this.  It’s not a feminist thing or anything.  I chose my husband, chose his name, chose the title that goes with having married him.


  1. I agree. I always put myself down on forms as Mrs Parfitt. I think that two are bigger and better than the sum of the parts and I like to acknowledge my role as wife to my husband. I don’t see anything wrong with that!

    • Janet –

      Yes, it’s that. =)

      Maybe, when the connection between a married couple is stressful, unequal, threatening, or outright hostile or apathetic, it’s hard to see that title as anything other than a burden.

      Happily, our marriage has always felt like the coming-together of two soulmates, and there really is something far bigger than us in play, here, overarching us and what lies between us…

      On a more somber note, when we moved together through the 12 days of Elijah’s life, when I was witness to Jim holding him as he died, and for an hour thereafter, because he knew he would never hold him again….

      Since then, it has been impossible not to see this big bear of a man as – a human, as easily broken open and shattered as me.

      Seeing his vulnerabilities as well as his strengths, seeing his vulnerabilities AS his strengths, opens my soul to him in ways it wasn’t, before that.

      I am honored and delighted to be Mrs, James B. Burton….or Mrs. Shannon D. Burton (OK, I prefer Mrs. Shan Jeniah Burton; but while I will customize the names given to me by my parents, I will not customize or neglect the name I took by joyous choice, nor the title that comes with it….).

      I’m so glad that you posted – you put me in touch with some deeper things I hadn’t gotten to, in the one minute of that post. =)

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