My Very First Flash Fiction Challenge

OOOOH! This sets my imagination afire.....

This will be my very first Flash Fiction Friday flash fiction attempt. I am still getting the feel for it, as I tend to be a very, very wordy writer…..and yet, I am falling in love with these bite-sized writings I am just now beginning to explore……

 

A Bitter Meal

Jeniah chewed on the last of the fish, not so much because she was hungry as because the babe swelling her belly must be kept well-nourished.

The brisk sea breeze lifted and ruffled her fur in a way that was both pleasant and vexing…..

Or did that have more to do with the ominous hill away past the ocean-smoothed rocks, and with the three Canivaarii who sat  upon it, watching her silently?

She knew that Hallii was there, could even tell which of those indistinct shapes was her twin….

Her twin, who followed her every exploration, and who was ordering the murder of Tacivaarii and Untribed alike….

Her twin, whom she must stop.  And whom the child twisting and rolling in her belly would, with his birthing,  be the means to do so…

The fish turned bitter and sick-making in her throat, and she vomited it upon the rocks, then went to the water to rinse her mouth with the flavor of tears.

*********************************************************************

Wow!  I enjoyed that –  and it took me just about five minutes to write.  I may even go ahead and submit this, somewhere, in the next few days……

So glad I played along! =)

12 comments

  1. Debra –

    I am so embarrassed to not have seen this a looong time ago!

    *waving frantically back, and hoping you still can see*!

    Thank you for your lovely words. There is something very compelling in tiny, rich stories, isn’t there?

    Thank you so much for making me your first stop! =D

  2. I love this. Waving *hi.* This is my first stop here and what a great stop. I recently fell in love with flash fiction and have one sitting in my queue, but have yet to post any. Yours leaves me wanting more.

    • Lisa –

      I’m grateful that you stopped by, and sorry that this somehow got lost here…

      I’ve done quite a bit more flash fiction in the last months,and I am finding that I not only really love it, but I’m also getting far more concise in my other writing.

      Thanks for your kind words, and I hope you gave it a whirl, yourself!

    • I was about to come over to “your place” and say thank you, and how much I like the post (and the bits of us in the picture of Marcus’s room. So sweet to know we are always, in a sense, with you.)…..thank you for the plug, and all those great places to look into next…..

      I’ll be over in a few moments to comment there. too.

      ❤ you!

    • Sharon –

      Well, that’s good, since I can’t imagine a life without Jeniah in it (especially since I took her name and made it mine, too!).

      She’s tougher and stronger and a little more wild than I am.

      I am kinder, more peaceful, and more able to see larger pictures and empathize than she is.

      I, though, am not at the center of a telepathic network that spans a planet and reaches out into space – and I haven’t -yet – figured out how to literally transform into a lynx, although it would be awesomely cool!.

      I can catch a fish – with a pole, and, on one amazing occasion in Oregon, with my bare hands. If pressed, I can gut them, too, although empathy keeps me from wanting to….and I use a knife rather than my teeth…..

      Thank you for your kind comment…….i will be posting more of Jeniah’s story, which also happens to be interwoven with Star Trek fan fiction…..I keep wondering if it’s possible to unravel the storylines without ruining the tone…….

      But, really, I don’t want to.

  3. Ooh… Good thing I knew that Hallii had turned into something of a wenchling or I’d feel hurt. 😉 Loved the intensity of emotion there.

    And thanks for the reminder that I should link to the original photo. >HUGS<

    • Sys –

      It’s OK – Hallii is mostly dangerously disillusioned by the abuses of her childhood, and sure anyone not Canivaarii has no value….she gets over it, eventually, and redeems herself. =)

      It’s odd. I saw those rocks, and knew Jeniah was there, eating a fish……and brooding.

      I love how Hallii – and you! – have been with me all these years. =)

  4. Ooooh, this is so cool, Shan! I love how you went ahead and infused a bunch of creative elements that clearly have more behind them than a five-minute piece of flash can portray. You definitely got me hungry for more (and maybe a little bit for fish, too), yet it’s fairly complete in itself too. Great job! I’m glad you played along, too!

    • L.S. – Why, thank you!

      Yes, these characters have been in my head, and Eden’s, too, since we were teens. In my 40s now, and they’ve grown along with me.

      I love that image – it was hugely evocative, for me. The castle registered in my mind as a huge, lightning blasted tree…..and the little shapes on the rise of the hill…

      Suddenly, I knew they were Canvaarii (Wolven shapeshifters), and I saw the scene through Jeniah’s eyes (she’s a lynx shapeshifter), as she crouched on her belly, eating a fresh-caught fish, and brooding about a variety of things (the health of her unborn, the threat her sister poses, the responsibility she has to her Tribe and to Untribed society, a lifemate she doesn’t want, and life-threatening danger to the man she does want….).

      You can find a short excerpt from my as-yet unfinished 2009 novel, “blood and Breath”, upon which this piece is based,athttps://shanjeniah.wordpress.com/2011/07/01/brief-passage-from-my-novel-blood-and-breath/

      I loved playing along…..it feels good and liberating and just plain fun!

      I can’t help with the fish, though……

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